On Halloween Rants, and a few personal woes...

Hello everyone, and welcome new followers! I'm still constantly surprised at the amount of people who are willing to listen to me blither on....

I know I haven't been blogging with much enthusiasm lately, and there are many reasons why, all of which have had me in a kind of crisis mode and few of which I'm willing to fully describe on the internet. Suffice it to say that some of it involves my husband's ex-wife and some family issues. I've been feeling very low the last few weeks, and it has culminated into feeling almost nothing at all the last couple of days. I've kind of shut down emotionally, and maybe that's what I need to reboot.

Anyway, this post has been vaguely writing itself in my head for some time, so I need to put it down.

There are a few things that irritate me around Halloween, as much as I love the holiday, and these aren't even so much of the comments that I know we all get (i.e. "Nice costume" or "Are you going to a party?" No, what irritates me first of all is some of the costumes.

Yep, Goth costumes.

I think this bothers me in much the same way as other costumes that seem to be making a weird persona out of a specific group of people. I ran up on someone the other day that planned on going as a lesbian with one of her friends. That's not a costume, that's a person. In the same way things like this bother me:

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Described as a "Goth Bride of Darkness" costume

Ok, I understand, maybe I'm being too touchy. Halloween means ooky spooky and this would certainly do it for most people. However, the way that gets translated is that someone seeing me in my everyday clothes assumes that I am in costume, that I'm trying to achieve this look, and that it's not who I really am and I'm playing pretend. 

What these costumes do is take Gothic fashion and make fun of it. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I can't be the only one who feels like they are begin ridiculed. 

On the other hand, I do love the holiday and I buy things that are cheesy and cliche, if only to gently poke fun at myself and make sure I'm not taking myself too seriously. I know that it's weird for me to complain about the above picture and then buy this:

It says "Gothtini." Had to get it. Had to

Maybe in the end it's how someone uses the imagery that effects the way I process it. If it's just a costume you're putting together to make yourself seem "scary" because you think Goths are scary, then I feel I'm being made fun of in the wrong way. If you genuinely think it's cute and intend to use it for more than shock value, I can get over it.

I'm curious to know if I'm the only one that feels this way. How do you guys feel about Goth costumes and such?

There is one more little thing that bothers me around Halloween. I am a Christian, and I know Halloween is sometimes a four letter word in the Church, but really, if you're going to claim that it's evil, don't turn around and have the exact same thing at a church and call it something different and say that's ok.

Maybe this is just a thing with churches around here, but every one of them have an "alternative" set up for Halloween night, where the kids dress up in costumes (although they ban "scary" costumes), they give out candy, they play games, and they call it a "Hallelujah Party" or something similar. It's ridiculous. If Halloween is that twisted and evil that you don't think I should celebrated it or let my kid go trick-or-treating, why are you having the same exact damn thing at the church? Do you really think calling it something different means you're not celebrating the (pagan) holiday just like everyone else???

Does anyone else see this happen where they live? What do you guys think about this?

On Being a Christian Goth, Part II

Warning! This post contains religious beliefs that are entirely my own.

I feel that the first time I entered this subject I became a bit....well, whiney. "oh poor me, look how rejected I am," instead of explaining what it means to be a Christian Goth.

I find beauty in all of God's creations, whether or not they are considered "nice" or "pretty" by the majority of people. Skulls, skeletons, bats, spiders, all of these are creations. Somehow it has been decided by the great nameless and faceless "they" that these things are dark and scary, and only suitable to be enjoyed around October.

A brief tangent about wearing black: I've seen some Christian Goth sites say that they wear black as a symbol of dying to sin, mourning our Savior's death, or mourning for a lost and dying world. I think this is a bit extreme when trying to find a religious theme for every aspect of your personality, when in reality it is perfectly ok for you to like something just because you like it. I wear black because I like it, that's it nothing deeper.

God gets credit for all of our greatest attributes, but seldom do people give Him credit for their very personalities. God made you who you are for a reason. I firmly believe that God meant for me to be a Goth. No, really. Because of my particular walk and experience with the Church, I have had the opportunity to talk to people about spiritual issues who would normally never talk to a Christian or set foot in a Church. One of the strangest things I've realized is that I seem to attract questions from Atheists. (Me being a Christian, having numerous Atheist friends, yeah that's weird to me).

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Let me be clear for a second, I am not in the business of saving any one's soul; that's God's job. However I am responsible for sharing what I can, and if that happens to make someone think about spiritual matters, then I consider that a blessing.

I am a Christian because I've seen numerous things in my life that have proven to me God's presence. I am a Goth because I am attracted to things of a dark and spooky nature. I am a Christian Goth.

By the way, my husband has started a blog on this very subject: check out Gothic Christian Ministry.

Sunday Outfits

I just thought I'd share what Sam and I look like on a typical Sunday, going to Church.

Purple skull and spider web top: Spencer's
Black lace chocker: DIY gift
Skull and bone cross: this is my favorite cross necklace and has given me ample opportunity for debate amongst church folk. It was a gift from my sister, Emily.

Lace skirt: Goodwill
Iron Fist heels: shown here before, came from HT


Sam looked very handsome in Church today as well, usually he shows me up quite magnificently.

Top hat: ebay
glasses: ebay
Shirt: Walmart Halloween special
Tie: ebay

Black pants: Walmart
Boots: these are Demonia, but I can't remember where he got them.

Yay! Christian Goths in their natural habitat.

On Being a Christian Goth

I've had over one hundred page views! And I want to thank Dark Side of the Net for featuring my blog, I was really excited.

I've had many instances where my dark tendencies have resulted in not-so-nice or uncomfortable comments and assumptions. But, because I've accepted that the way I choose to dress contradicts the norm, I cannot rightfully complain about negative attention. However, there are instances that I wish would not happen, and the most sensitive of those are judgments that are frequently made about me regarding my faith.

I'm a Christian, and have been since I accepted the Lord at the age of eight. I've gone to church on a regular basis, even gotten my parents involved with the church we are in now. All through school I was actively involved with the youth group and other such things, and I was always readily accepted and even adored by the members of the church.

But that all started to change when I was in high school and began to develop a taste for dark and spooky clothing.

I began to get comments - not just the Halloween is over or what are you dressed as comments - but accusations of being a devil-worshipper or witch. Being of the Christian faith, these comments hurt in a way that nothing else does. There was a period of about 6 or 7 years that I did not attend any church, that I would not even set foot in a church, to avoid these remarks.

The problem persisted when I had a hard time finding a preacher who would marry my husband and I. Because we wanted to be married on Halloween day, it made the first several people I talked to scatter. My old youth paster, who now has his own church, would't even do it. Then we got into contact with the preacher at my old church, the one that I had attended since I was about 9, but had left. He was happy to give us marriage counseling (sneaky little way not to pay for the marriage license), and to marry us on the day that we wanted.

After the wedding we started going back to church. I wanted to take my son; I have my own scruples with the church as an entity, in many ways I am a strange Christian, but I wanted him to be exposed and to be able to make up his own mind about things when he was old enough. There was some comfortableness at first, but it died down quickly and soon Sam and I were regular fixtures:

"Oh yes, welcome to our church! Here we have the pastor, the deacons, assorted sunday school teachers, and oh yes that cute couple in black cloths and top hats...."

Everything was great until the pastor left. He felt that he was called else where, and I felt ominous; what was going to happen when a new preacher came? My question was shortly answered. When our new preacher told me that the way Sam and I dress projects death, darkness, and witchcraft.

Now, darkness in the Bible is different than the concept of 'darkness' in western mainstream culture. The word used in the Bible is a metaphor for sin, not black clothing. I tried to debate the new pastor over this issue, even sent him to christiangoth.com so that he could understand a little bit more about Goth, since he seemed not to have a clue what it was, but he won't listen.

My biggest issue is what is considered dark is ridiculous. Skulls, spiders, bats, all are made by God, but are somehow projected as being evil. I don't understand how people can decide if one is a Christian or not based on the way one is dressed.

Has anyone else had problems with this?