I've had over one hundred page views! And I want to thank Dark Side of the Net for featuring my blog, I was really excited.
I've had many instances where my dark tendencies have resulted in not-so-nice or uncomfortable comments and assumptions. But, because I've accepted that the way I choose to dress contradicts the norm, I cannot rightfully complain about negative attention. However, there are instances that I wish would not happen, and the most sensitive of those are judgments that are frequently made about me regarding my faith.
I'm a Christian, and have been since I accepted the Lord at the age of eight. I've gone to church on a regular basis, even gotten my parents involved with the church we are in now. All through school I was actively involved with the youth group and other such things, and I was always readily accepted and even adored by the members of the church.
But that all started to change when I was in high school and began to develop a taste for dark and spooky clothing.
I began to get comments - not just the Halloween is over or what are you dressed as comments - but accusations of being a devil-worshipper or witch. Being of the Christian faith, these comments hurt in a way that nothing else does. There was a period of about 6 or 7 years that I did not attend any church, that I would not even set foot in a church, to avoid these remarks.
The problem persisted when I had a hard time finding a preacher who would marry my husband and I. Because we wanted to be married on Halloween day, it made the first several people I talked to scatter. My old youth paster, who now has his own church, would't even do it. Then we got into contact with the preacher at my old church, the one that I had attended since I was about 9, but had left. He was happy to give us marriage counseling (sneaky little way not to pay for the marriage license), and to marry us on the day that we wanted.
After the wedding we started going back to church. I wanted to take my son; I have my own scruples with the church as an entity, in many ways I am a strange Christian, but I wanted him to be exposed and to be able to make up his own mind about things when he was old enough. There was some comfortableness at first, but it died down quickly and soon Sam and I were regular fixtures:
"Oh yes, welcome to our church! Here we have the pastor, the deacons, assorted sunday school teachers, and oh yes that cute couple in black cloths and top hats...."
Everything was great until the pastor left. He felt that he was called else where, and I felt ominous; what was going to happen when a new preacher came? My question was shortly answered. When our new preacher told me that the way Sam and I dress projects death, darkness, and witchcraft.
Now, darkness in the Bible is different than the concept of 'darkness' in western mainstream culture. The word used in the Bible is a metaphor for sin, not black clothing. I tried to debate the new pastor over this issue, even sent him to christiangoth.com so that he could understand a little bit more about Goth, since he seemed not to have a clue what it was, but he won't listen.
My biggest issue is what is considered dark is ridiculous. Skulls, spiders, bats, all are made by God, but are somehow projected as being evil. I don't understand how people can decide if one is a Christian or not based on the way one is dressed.
Has anyone else had problems with this?