Too Goth for a Hospital?

I found this article on during a random Google search, and frankly found it disturbing. This guy visited an ER after a skating accident, seeking medical attention for a broken wrist, and was denied service by the smuck behind the front desk because of an inverted cross he was wearing.

What the frick?

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He doesn't look all that scary to me. 

Ok, let me begin the rant. Most likely (though I am just guessing here but this is very likely what happened) the reason the clerk was so offended was because he was probably a Christian who associates an upside-down cross with Satanism. That is not the only way that cross is used, it is also used in Catholicism (yes, a Christian religion) as a symbol of St. Peter, who was crucified upside-down.    And even if he is a Satanist, this country was founded on the concept of the freedom to worship in anyway one would like without fear of persecution, so unless this guy had ran up and said "I'm going to kill you" or something similar, the clerk had no reason to deny him medical attention.

And what is more, the Goth guy offered to tuck in the necklace so it could not be seen, if it was so offensive. And the clerk still told him to find someone else to check him in.  Personally, I would have made such a scene that the guy probably would have been fired on the spot. The Goth in this case was very polite in the face of such ruddiness, and I commend him for it.

Honestly this makes me loose faith in humanity a little bit. Thankfully nothing like this has happened to me, but that is not to say that it couldn't eventually. I can only hope that the clerk will loose his job over this.   

Depression and Anxiety Disorders

Rather serious title I know, but this subject has been striking me lately as I see more and more people, online and off, dealing with these issues. What I'm seeing a lot of in particular is a fear of living up to the Goth stereotype, which could lead to not seeking help.

I have an anxiety disorder. Before I sought help, I was constantly nervous to the point of not being able to do anything, failing classes because I felt I could not do the work, and having panic attacks on an almost daily basis. Now, anyone who has ever had a legitimate panic attack will tell you that they are not fun; you literally feel like you are going to die.

I did not seek treatment for about two years after it had gotten really bad. I thought I could handle it on my own; it had nothing to do with fear of what the doctor would say, but I had a weird thing about being on "happy pills". However, it got to the point that either I was going to seek help or end up in the hospital from a heart attack or something, so I finally went to my doctor and was first prescribed antidepressants for both anxiety and depression.

The pills had minimal effect, but my doctor kept upping the dosage instead of trying something else, until finally I began to have thoughts of suicide. This had NEVER happened to me before, and it scared me so badly that I stopped taking the meds and found a different doctor. My new doctor listened to me a lot closer than my pervious one had, and told me that I had an anxiety disorder that had nothing to do with depression, and the antidepressants had actually made me depressed. She then prescribed me a pill specifically for anxiety that has sense stopped the panic attacks and helped curb the everyday nervousness.

I say all that to say this: I was asked if I had began dressing in a Gothic manner before or after the symptoms started. I had expected this, so it did not jar me very much. However, I have read some accounts from people who have much worse experiences with their doctors or counselors, in effect telling them that the way they dress contributes to or is the root of the anxiety or depression they are experiencing. From hearing these accounts, I worry that fear of being patronized by a doctor may be keeping some Gothy or alternative people from seeking help (or continuing to seek help) for their conditions. This should NOT stop you from getting help. If you think your doctor may not be giving you the best care because of some misconceptions about your appearance, go to another doctor.   

source: Goth Confessions 

Maybe this post is just for me, but here are some tips I've picked up in dealing with anxiety and doctors:

1. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Depression and severe anxiety are not problems that are going to go away on their own. Maybe you can seek counseling instead of medication, if the idea of being on pills is not a good one for you. If you are nervous about the visit, bring someone close to you with you for moral support.  My sister came with me to my first ever anxiety-related appointment.

2. Pay close attention to how your doctor treats you. I had problems with my first doctor; she didn't seem to be listening to me as attentively as she should have. Now, the office was very busy at the time and they had a lot of patients, so time was limited. My new doctor has less patients than the previous one and therefore has more time to really listen and ask questions about how I am feeling. If you feel that your doctor isn't listening properly, seek out a better one.

3. Don't get offended about questions regarding your appearance, particularly if you have never seen this doctor before. Doctors are trained to look for differences in behavior related to metal illness, so be prepared to have a question like mine. However, if your doctor assumes or insinuates that being a Goth is the cause of your depression, go find another one with some common sense.

4. Take your meds. I know that seems like a stupid thing to point out, but an antidepressant or anti anxiety medication is not something you can skip doses on. Think of it as like a medication for seizures, don't miss it.

5. Be very aware of how your meds are making you feel. Finding a proper medication for your specific need is a process, not all medications work the same way with everyone. What might have worked for a friend or relative isn't necessarily going to be right for you. Be conscious of your moods and reactions, and if any thoughts of suicide come up - however brief - stop taking the meds and go to your doctor immediately! If your doctor isn't available, go to the nearest ER, they have counselors available for just such a thing. 

If you suffer form depression, anxiety, or any other emotional disorder, and you also happen to be a Goth, the two are not intertwined. Being a Goth has nothing to do with being depressed, so don't feel as though you are a bad stereotype. It is more important to take care of yourself than worry about what other people may think.

I have Green Hair!

I had a friend bleach my roots and dye them green last night. I love doing things to my hair!

One a different note, I was laid-off Friday because of the business changing hands. I'm tired of working retail though, anyone looking for a writer?

Monthly Theme: Bows

Sorry guys, I'm not dead. I've had muscle spasms in my back since Friday and haven't been able to move much. I finally got some of my soul back after taking muscle relaxers for a couple of days. 

Anyways, on to Sophistique Noir's thème for August: Bows!

I love these little skull bow earrings! I can't remember where I got them, but I think they are the perfect marriage of cute and spooky.

That's as much of my face as you're getting today, I think I'll go lay down now.

Upcoming posts: a showcase of my Nightmare Before Christmas t-shirts, and a list of Halloween shopping tips for decorating year-round. 

Someone make it be Halloween already!

source: Facebook 

Behold!

The spiderweb-skull twins!

He loves this shirt; I am the shit right now!

Sunday Outfits

Sam and Zach matched today:

Those tuxedo t-shirts we got from Walmart on a Halloween clearance.

Note the cute skull detail:

I didn't go to church this morning because I had massive trouble sleeping last night. Weird dreams and slight case of insomnia. But this is what I would have looked like had I gone:

On Being a Christian Goth, Part II

Warning! This post contains religious beliefs that are entirely my own.

I feel that the first time I entered this subject I became a bit....well, whiney. "oh poor me, look how rejected I am," instead of explaining what it means to be a Christian Goth.

I find beauty in all of God's creations, whether or not they are considered "nice" or "pretty" by the majority of people. Skulls, skeletons, bats, spiders, all of these are creations. Somehow it has been decided by the great nameless and faceless "they" that these things are dark and scary, and only suitable to be enjoyed around October.

A brief tangent about wearing black: I've seen some Christian Goth sites say that they wear black as a symbol of dying to sin, mourning our Savior's death, or mourning for a lost and dying world. I think this is a bit extreme when trying to find a religious theme for every aspect of your personality, when in reality it is perfectly ok for you to like something just because you like it. I wear black because I like it, that's it nothing deeper.

God gets credit for all of our greatest attributes, but seldom do people give Him credit for their very personalities. God made you who you are for a reason. I firmly believe that God meant for me to be a Goth. No, really. Because of my particular walk and experience with the Church, I have had the opportunity to talk to people about spiritual issues who would normally never talk to a Christian or set foot in a Church. One of the strangest things I've realized is that I seem to attract questions from Atheists. (Me being a Christian, having numerous Atheist friends, yeah that's weird to me).

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Let me be clear for a second, I am not in the business of saving any one's soul; that's God's job. However I am responsible for sharing what I can, and if that happens to make someone think about spiritual matters, then I consider that a blessing.

I am a Christian because I've seen numerous things in my life that have proven to me God's presence. I am a Goth because I am attracted to things of a dark and spooky nature. I am a Christian Goth.

By the way, my husband has started a blog on this very subject: check out Gothic Christian Ministry.

A Sampling of Tattoos

I mentioned in my last post that Sam and I had gotten matching tattoos for our first anniversary, but I neglected to post pictures of said tattoos. Bad me, here you go:

Sam's

Mine, no they're not exactly the same; my artist never does two tats identically. 

I thought I would also take this opportunity to show off some of my other pieces. This isn't all of them, but seeing as I have ten, I thought that would be a bit much for one post.

My butterfly skull.

My first foot tat. I've had my ribs done, shoulder, shoulder blade, none of them ever hurt, but being tattooed on the foot, that freaking hurts.

Second foot tat. Pretty bats against a moon. 

As I said, this is only a small sampling of my ink. I think I might be slightly addicted. 

Zach's Outfit Today

Check out the outfit that the gremlin picked out for himself today:

Orange and black, Halloween colors! It gives me a warm glowy feeling inside to know that I'm corrupting a young child. 

On Music vs. Fashion, and a little Rob Zombie

I've seen this debate in many places, from online to in print (most notably in Gothic Charm School, The Lady of the Manners approaches the subject quite charmingly) - which is more important to Goth culture, fashion or music?

Personally, I lean more toward fashion. I know that the scene proper really got started around the Goth Rock genre, and I do know my Goth music history, but do I listen to it religiously? Honestly, no. I listen to more metal than anything else, with the possible acceptation of Voltaire. But the metal I listen to usually has some spooky or scary lyrics and imagery.

I just think it takes more dedication to turn your wardrobe into a mass of dark delight than it does to do so to your playlist. Does this mean that I'm snubbing Goth music and those who favor it? Absolutely not, I just mean to counter those who would say that if someone does not listen to Goth music, then they are not a real Goth.

While we are on the subject of Goth music, I've also seen many debates on who is and isn't Goth in the music scene, which always leads to furious diatribe about Marilyn Manson. While I do like Manson (my husband and I danced to "If I was Your Vampire" at our wedding, and we have since had that phrase tattooed on our arms with matching Jack-o-Lanters for our first anniversary), I would like to shift the debate to Rob Zombie.

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I've never seen him being debated as Goth or not Goth, but I really don't understand why. Sure, his music is obviously metal - as Manson's is - but look at his subject matter: witches, werewolves, zombies, and Dragula! Most of his songs have spooky overtones, and he makes horror movies; I think he at least deserves a look in.

And might I add, if it were possible to have ones own theme song that played whenever one entered a room (how cool??) this would be mine:

On Georgia Summer Heat

Just to give you guys an idea of how hot it is in Georgia right now:

This candle was sitting beneath a window.

Sunday Outfits

I just thought I'd share what Sam and I look like on a typical Sunday, going to Church.

Purple skull and spider web top: Spencer's
Black lace chocker: DIY gift
Skull and bone cross: this is my favorite cross necklace and has given me ample opportunity for debate amongst church folk. It was a gift from my sister, Emily.

Lace skirt: Goodwill
Iron Fist heels: shown here before, came from HT


Sam looked very handsome in Church today as well, usually he shows me up quite magnificently.

Top hat: ebay
glasses: ebay
Shirt: Walmart Halloween special
Tie: ebay

Black pants: Walmart
Boots: these are Demonia, but I can't remember where he got them.

Yay! Christian Goths in their natural habitat.

Goth Color Blocking

I don't know how many of you keep up with the mainstream and their fashion fads; I don't normally myself save for what I see people wearing on the street, but there is one that a fashion-forward friend of mine wrote an article about in our college newspaper when I was its Editor-in-Chief (this has been a couple of semesters ago) that I rather liked and wanted to try.

It's called color blocking, and basically uses contrasting colors paired together to make a statement. There is an article explaining it more thoroughly here. The overall effect is striking, if not slightly daunting, so I thought there had to be a way of Gothing it up.

So voila, here it is: Goth Color Blocking!

 




































Ok, so it's still mostly black, but I've managed to splash in some purple, green, pink, and yellow.

This top I got from Walmart last Halloween, the skeleton bat necklace is from Spencer's.

Skirt is from Hot Topic, it's Tripp.

Tights are from Walmart, last Halloween as well. Shoes are Iron Fist, from HT I think. No one does high heels like Iron Fist!

And for no apparent reason, the term Goth Color Blocking made me think of this video, enjoy!

But....I am "Normal"!

Have you every had that person who, when you try to explain Goth to them, asks the curious question, "But what do you do?"

Ummm, people things?

Ok, I get it (somewhat), we dress differently than other people do. We're spooky and different, so maybe it is natural to think that we spend our free time in graveyards communing with the dead, or building coffin-shaped beds in which to sleep, or cooking in large cauldrons instead of on a stove. The reality is that, no, we just go to the grocery store and get ice cream and then go home and watch TV.

While it would be more exciting to led some sort of extraordinary life when one decides to be a Goth, we really are regular people just like you, we just do a lot of shopping around Halloween.

My lovely husband and I, being all "normal."

Cute Kids vs. Creepy Adults

Source  (Yes it's Marilyn Manson, what of it?)

Ok, say you're walking down the street, in all your Gothy glory, when a random child exclaims over your appearance and stares avidly at you. Cute, right? Now picture an adult staring avidly at you in the same way. Kind of makes your skin crawl, doesn't it?

Case in point; my Sam and I were in Walmart getting some groceries when this little girl stares tapping her brother franticly on the shoulder and staring at us with this awe-stuck look on her face. I though this was indescribably cute. On the other hand, when the mom noticed what the kids were looking at, she goes "oh my God" and....stares. Quite a different stare than the kids.

Why is it that when kids do this, it's cute, but when adults do it, it's just plain creepy.

I think it has something to do with our perception of what is going on in either the kid or the adult's mind. Usually, kids are more open to the strange and unusual than adults are, so we see their reaction as being innocently curious (I say usually, because I have had a couple of instances where the kid spat more venom than I thought was possible for their age, so I know it is possible that not all kids are like that). However, most adults are not as forgiving of weirdness, so their stares have more of a negative connotation. I'm not saying this is true of all adults, just the ones who stare in a creepy way. 

What do you guys think? Have you run into this phenomenon, and what are your thoughts on it? 

Say Good-bye to long hair

I cut my hair! I think this is as short as I've ever had it; I just couldn't see going through the suffocating Georgia heat with that long, thick mass of curl.

Forgive the bemused expression, it was early.

My Obsessions: Clowns

I've found that a lot of people are afraid of clowns because they find them scary; I love clowns because I find them scary! Of course most of the clowns that I adore are of the horror movie variety, such as Pennywise the Dancing Clown from Stephen King's It. 

Of course, I've always had a soft spot for very cheaply made B-Horror. Couple that with my love of evil clowns and imagine my delight when a friend introduced me to Killer Klowns from Outer Space! No movie will ever top the people-eating shadow puppet scene.

And I've uncovered plans to release a Killer Klowns 2 next year! Read about it here.

Not all scary clowns are evil, however. Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas features a 'clown with a tear-away face' who is nothing short of adorable. Like all the towns people of Halloween Town, he looks frightening but has a lovely personality. This movie has been my favorite since it was released when I was five.

I think what I most enjoy about clowns is that they are something that is traditionally perceived as innocent and fun, but can be easily turned into something wicked and deadly. There are many more movies that feature clowns, but as I'm writing a blog post and not a novel, I'll leave it here and let you guys look through your movie collections and try and find some

Debating on PVC

I've never owned anything made from PVC, but I've seen some pieces lately that have a Victorian feel to them and am curious about the fabric. My immediate impression is that I'll squeak when I walk.

Source: ebay

Do any of you guys own anything PVC? How does it wear, how does it feel, and how would I take care of it? Please leave me a comment!

New skirt is coming!

I found and ordered this cute asymmetrical skirt from ebay with some belated birthday money I received from my grandparents. I'm just picturing what it will look like with some combat boots! As soon as I get it in I'll have an outfit post for you guys so I can show it off, because I'm generous and kind-hearted like that and not at all vain. Well, maybe a little.

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