Monday, May 28, 2012

On being a Goth Mom

Sorry for the recent lack of posts, we've had a busy few days.

Since I became a mother, I've had a few instances of people (family especially) being a little critical of my dress and the way I dress my child. I don;t quite understand where the idea that Goths cannot make good parents comes from, but I suppose it's something to do with the ramped media fueled bad stereotyping or something.

My biggest complaint is when people assume that I'm making Zach dress like me. This usually comes from a soccer mom with a little girl that is in a matching outfit. Yes, I tend to buy Zach's t-shits during Halloween, and even when it's not during the spooky season he gets things with skulls and the like on them, but what people don't realize is that he picks out his own clothes. He chooses what we buy and what he wears everyday. I'm not forcing him into anything.

Now it is true that he probably goes for what he sees his father and me wearing, and he might decide when he gets older that he doesn't want to dress spooky anymore, and I'm perfectly ok with that. He is his own person, and he has the right to express himself in whatever way he wants.

I do have a few worries that perhaps other 'normal' (I hate that word) parents don't have to think about. What if he begins to be made fun of in school? I know that most kids get picked on regardless of what they wear, but will that make him wary of wearing what he likes because of the opinions of others? I've tried to impress upon him that he should wear and do what he wants no matter what other people think.

My other worry is that he will be made fun of because of the way his father and I look. Kids are cruel creatures, and I'm afraid of what will be said to him when his mother shows up to PTA looking like Morticia Addams.

Me and my gremlin. I didn't realize he had picked out a shirt that looked like mine until after the picture was taken.

In the end all of my anxiety comes down to teaching my son to appreciate all kinds of beauty, not just the pretty pink pastel world of endless happiness that we are taught to live in. I think I'm raising him to be accepting and empathetic, which surly will quell the nastiness of other people.


  1. I have 3 foster boys to dress, and I was surprised to find myself dressing them sort of preppy. Plain Tshirts if I can get them (I despise logos; if the company wants my kid to advertise for them they should pay us! ha) or stripes. Maybe I'm trying to help them look "normal" at school - but without quite forcing them to conform.

    So on rare occasions when the boys are being good enough to go shopping with me for their clothes instead of meekly wearing what I pick out, I am delighted that on their very own they're picking out shirts with skulls on them or really cool interesting designs. One boy is obsessed with camouflage so I let him have that too. (Although that's probably trendy!)

    1. I feel the exact same way about being a walking advertisement for big business. Zach really doesn't care about picking out jeans or shorts, but loves choosing his own t-shirts. around Halloween he gets just as excited about shopping as I do.

      I just hope we won't become a source of embarrassment for him as he gets older. Kids are cruel little creatures, and you have to remember that we are the only Addams Family look-alikes in our county. I worry that he will be picked on because of me, but I'm trying to raise him in a way that will prepare him for that, if that makes since.

  2. My little one is only 18 months old, and there aren't many other parents around that have the love affair my husband and i have with all things spooky.... I worry a little about how school will go for her, if she decides she wants to dress like mommy or daddy, but she's still young. It's lovely to see other goth parents.

    1. I defiantly understand, I get weird comments and such from people here. I would love to be around other gothy-type parents other than on line.